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This time the previous year, I ended up on a TV programme alongside three vocalists. There was a rapper of Ghanaian heritage, a big pop star, and a famous mezzo-soprano. The coldest season was upon us. Just the night prior, I celebrated a close friend's milestone birthday, squeezed into a pub's event space in a Surrey location. The festivities were fun, yet now, simply to make conversation, I wondered how one could prevent getting a cold as numerous attendees were part of an orchestra of winter ailments. On a side note, how come some people have nose-blows like trumpets, and some do not? Something to explore later.

Their Take by the Singers

Upon referencing the party, the group of artists backstage at the TV studio took two actions. First, they edged away from me. Second, they launched into an animated conversation on how to avoid catching colds that naturally enough given their line of work was something of an obsession for them. I get that, but I'm also deeply invested – I need to dodge colds no matter what because the colds I get are worse than anyone else’s. There's no doctor's note to prove it, but I firmly believe it. My symptoms persist. My nasal passages are more congested, I have a more irritated throat, my coughing fits are louder, barkier and apparently endless. My relatives, alert to the initial throat noises that signal an oncoming cold, sometimes banish me or clear the room themselves. During my time hosting football on TV, my teammates behind the scenes learned to recognize the signals. “Cans off!” the producer would yell to everyone prior to me blasting their ears, damaging their headset equipment.

Managing Blocked Noses

As for my blocked noses, don't get me started. Nasal sprays, decongestants, including the intense vapor from heated brandy my mum prescribes … they help briefly before admitting defeat. And there’s nothing as pitiable than a Brummie tone spoken without the benefit of air passing through the nostrils. In other words, it can sound nasal even normally. Fortunately, this often brings compassion, which isn’t always a good thing. In my first year away at university, without my mother's home remedies, the cleaner in our halls of residence felt sorry for me. “I know exactly what you need, you unfortunate soul. I’ll be back in a minute.” She was extremely kind, with a strong Irish accent, and very insistent that I ate the peeled, raw onion she presented to me. She observed me eating it. Kind soul. No improvement resulted, unfortunately, except for upsetting my stomach and making my breath smell terrible.

The Mezzo-Soprano’s Cold Avoidance Regime

So no, I hate colds and am quite sure that prevention is better than the cures that traditional or modern, don’t work. I focused carefully alongside my colleagues as the singer detailed her prevention methods. With forthcoming bookings to sing for her supper over Christmas, she was highly committed. She instructed us to apply hand sanitiser on the hour, every hour throughout the winter based on her explanation and, extra steps were needed during festivities. Prior to socializing, she advised several sprays of Vicks First Defence into both nostrils – regardless of symptoms. Intense. It appealed to me. And, listen to this, she required a repeat application post-event with more spray of the solution.

What Happened Next

I followed suit. And I can report I didn't sniffle all winter. There were drawbacks: the many containers I acquired, misplaced, bought again, rediscovered, and more. And the disappointing instant finding you've squashed the gel bottle stored in your pocket and it's oozing out. Nevertheless, a small cost for the benefit. With winter returning, I'm stocked up with the mezzo-soprano’s recommended ordnance. I’m ready for battle.